So, Darling is rather miffed about one of my previous posts. Can't blame him really... actually I can, a bit, because I showed it to him before publishing. Proponent of free speech that he is, he said to go ahead. Now he says that with free speech comes the responsibility to deal with the consequences. Gah!
He is right, of course.
So anywez, I got quite a few comments on that post - on my blog, by mail, over the phone and to my face. Yeah, I'm popular. They have been summarised below.
- You're attention whoring, WTF is wrong with you? Snap out of it!
- The perfect couple isn't really perfect? (shock, horror, dismay)
- Thou shalt not cheat!
- Your situation is understandable - and I'm available!
- Everyone goes through tough times, may I offer a shoulder to weep on?
- Have a kid, things will work out.
But only one or two answered my fundemental question --> what is cheating? If I may qualify further --> where do you draw the line? I think PR and Knatolee gave the best responses... but I'd like an answer in the concrete rather than the upfront. So, please take the very long but seriously fun poll given below.
Oh, and one final question... is it "cheating" if you tell your partner about it first?
15 comments:
Going by your poll, there are more ways of cheating that i ever realized! But i think forming an intimate emotional connection with someone else is worse than physically cheating on ur partner.. Just my two cents.
cheating is when you seek in other people what you can't find in your partner...or what you seek in other people that you can't rekindle with your partner.
cheating is when your eyes light up when someone else's name is mentioned
Cheating is when you do things with other people that you should be doing exclusively with your partner. If your partner is aware of what you do (even though ‘it’ should be done only with him/her) that is not cheating, that’s taking things to a whole new (kinky) level!
Its cheating, even if you tell your partner.
You are still being unfaithful although not untruthful.
thats a quite a long list there angel. anon has put it in so correct words.
If you tell your partner first it wont be cheating it will be break up time more like it.
Oh my GOD, "Have a kid, things will work out"!?!?! Untold troubled marriages have folded completely after the birth of a child! A child puts a lot of stress on a marriage (not saying that having a child is bad, though) and if you're already having troubles, you need to strengthen the marriage before you add to the issues.
ANyway, off to the poll...
Okay, I did the poll. I think there are some grey areas there! For example, hooking up with an old flame on FB could be innocent unless you are hiding it from your partner, in which case you have to ask yourself WHY you are hiding it from your partner! And I ticked "smooching" but it's not as bad as "third base." Still, I think it indicates a certain turning-away from your spouse.
All this said, I guess cheating is pretty much in the eye of the beholder! I wonder what your hubby considers cheating? :) Do you have the same opinions on that?
The poll was fun!
so then... what about a threesome? we'd both be aware of what's going on, but there'd be "someone else" involved.
Is that cheating?
rotfl.
LOL@darling... ROFL...atleast thts suggestive...
Angel: cheating is a very broad term i suppose... wht becomes acceptable n not is just between two ppl... :)
we all tend to make a incidental wrong judgement call..shit happens thts life, wht happens afterwards is the real deal... :)
I echo what Serendib said... I think it's cheating when you know what you're doing is wrong and you lie about it to your partner...
Agree with Knatolee. The poll was fun! Yes it IS cheating even if you tell your partner first.
Hey, look what I found in the online Toronto Star today!
http://www.thestar.com/living/article/791851--female-newlyweds-flock-to-join-cheaters-club?bn=1
An infidelity service!!!
T : You're right... but I'm confused
Annon : succintly put!
Serendib : lol... i hope you saw darling's comment
Jack, Santhoshi, Chavie : I know... sigh....
Knatolee : hah yes... but am still open to the suggestion of a kid! Love the link! Thanks!
Darling! You know I hate sharing!
Sue : glad you enjoyed!
The thing about cheating is that what one might consider deceiving is not so to someone else.
Depends on the people involved. For me personally, sexual and emotional cheating are both hurtful and I make sure whoever I am in a r'ship with knows.
I don't think there's a clearcut definition, like for most things in life :)
(Also, sorry about the shitty comments you got on that other post. Some people just don't get it when you are just musing :)
Sabby : the important point you made is about giving your partner a heads up on what you think/feel. Darling and I did the poll together... it was quite shocking how differently we thought!
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