Thursday, April 8, 2010

The great OMGWTFIDK self help plan

So yeah... two important things came out of my previous posts.

  • Boredom isn't reason enough for having an affair

  • People who want to have an affair go ahead and do it, they don't blabber about it on their blogs

So, although there is more to it than sheer joblessness, I turned my creative energies towards making a self help plan... implementable in 12 easy steps.

  1. Concentrate on PG programme throughout the week, instead of procrastinating and doing everything at - literally - the last minute, every. single. week.

  2. Upgrade baseline mood from irritability to detachment. Be more understanding, tolerant and loving. You are prone to double standards - recognise and deal with it.

  3. Cut down on the calories, work out more and match Dee in her goal for washboard abs! Current weight 60kg (eeeek!) Target weight 48 kg (facepalm!)

  4. Wear bright colours to work instead of signature funeral/neutral black, gray and taupe. Use money saved on calorie cut down to buy new sarees. Jewel colours are the new black!

  5. Try to spend at least one evening a week helping the less fortunate... e.g. teach at the local orphanage

  6. Nip in the bud any "what if" thoughts about old flames. Refrain from googling any flames. Realise that path to hell is paved with dodgy chatlogs. Attention whoring does not pay on the long run.

  7. Commence personal truth and reconciliation commission and leach out regrets, horror-movie type moments and disappointments that poison self.

  8. Get into domestic goddessing more often.

  9. Find diva time for self - blow dry hair, do up nails, defuzz. Use the selfcare products at home without wasting them. Do best not to be unattractive, unlovable, unlustworthy and fugly.

  10. Stop obsessing about hormone status and embrace motherhood as and when it comes - start taking folic acid. Daily.

  11. Make time for the girls. Text, phone, mail when meet-ups are not possible.

  12. Blog more often - this is my pressure vent, my sanctuary. Stop worrying about trolls... people are fundamentally nice.