Monday, February 15, 2010

These people, I tell you....!


So some time ago, this guy walks into the hospital complaining of tummy pains and constipation, and is sent over to the casualty unit. After giving the same story to the examining doctor, he reluctantly agrees to a rectal examination. The doctor is quite peplexed to find first a sili sili bag, and then a hard immovable object stuck "up there". Frantic x-trays were taken.



Picture quiz... can you guess what this is?


After stern questioning by the senior doctor, the patient mumbles something about a perfume bottle, and says he was assaulted by rouges (brandishing said perfume bottle) who had also robbed his house the previous night. Various methods were tried in order to get the bottle out... including a pair of obstetrics (delivery) forceps hastily borrowed from the nearby OBG ward, but to no avail. The patient was finally wheeled to surgery, sliced open and relieved of the offending object.



Of course, this account won't be complete without mentioning a famous story by one of my Profs. who never fails to regale successive generations of medical students with his wit and wisdom. Apparently while examining a similar patient, he had noticed a faint buzzing against his fingers... at which point he had asked the patient whether he wanted the vibrator taken out, or whether he simply wanted the batteries changed! After the operation (or so the Prof. claims) the vibrator had gone mysteriously missing. He then goes on to say he strongly suspects the ward nurses to have filched it for their own diversion...! (Of course, all these is said in a spirit of humour, esp. when Ms. A, one of the senior nurses, is present. She usually laughs and shakes her head - I think she has heard the story far too often to react in any other way!)

According to the 25th edition of A Short Practice of Surgery by Baily & Love, "The variety of foreign bodies that have found their way into the rectum is hardly less remarkable than the ingenuity displayed in their removal". It then goes on to describe the discovery and removal of turnips, pepper-pots, glass tumblers, screwdrivers and live artillery shells, just to name a few...

Ah well... and life goes on....

19 comments:

pissu perera said...

OW! that thing looks big. how the hell did he walk around with that thing in him?

also, did the rogues shove it up there or did he do it for safe keeping? that wasn't clear.

aaaargh. recovery can't be fun. gawd!

The Puppeteer said...

Eeew... =S
That's just horrible! How do people think up such ghastly ways of harassing others...

cj said...

I think this is absolutely brilliant if you had not put the picture up I would have thought you were just being funny... I cannot believe what people get up to till now.. pun intended damn a live artillery shell? I seriously would love to know how that happened. I hope you would dedicate another post on this enlightening other curious people like me,

Jack Point said...

heh heh

Darwin said...

Ouch. I've heard similar stories from my medic friends elsewhere, I guess this isn't as rare as one might think it is.

Brilliant post, thanks for the laughs!

blackexists said...

OUCH!

Chavie said...

uuuugggh! :O :/

Kulendra Janaka said...

Just had a flashback of House MD

Knatolee said...

You know, I've heard stories about these things from doctor friends, but I think this takes the cake. It's so LARGE!!!

Be careful out there, people!!

Serendib_Isle said...

LMAO.

Rogues? What did he do to deserve this? Yeah right.

Angel, thank you for sharing the story. So funny. ;)

Angel said...

PP : even we weren't very clear about it... the story was taken with a large pinch of salt!

Meg : my sentiments exactly

CJ, Jack : glad to be of service

Darwin : it seems it isn't "rare" at all! Nice to hear from you btw...

Black, Chavie : yeah... :S

Janaka : lol, but it wasn't exactly a diagnostic dilemma...

Knatolee : trust me, very big in real life...

Serendib : like I said, large pinch of salt...

N said...

eh gads...and live artillery shell?!!!

Sigma Delta said...

Ye gods!

santhoshi said...

oh dear!

Cadence said...

Sheesh!

Charmed said...

this reminded me of the scrubs episode where turk gifts carla a pen he found in the hospital 'ass' box.he thought it was the lost and found box .

sue said...

I don't know whether to laugh or cry...

P James Menter said...

Eh ... folks this is a solo act - my local doc had to remove a flower pot from a guy's rectum - apparently sat on it while gardening. I think there were marigolds in the pot ...

Angel said...

lol guys... *I* was laughing!

Charmed : that's awful!! :S

James : Marigolds?? Like seriously?? Euwww... BTW, thanks for stopping by!