Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Ah well....

...admit it took sometime to regain familiarity with my dashboard...

Hey everyone...

...........and yes, this is me, and yes, it has been a looo...ooong time. Many thanks, all of you who faithfully kept coming back to this blog to check on me, my lovely friends, and a few lovely Annony-mice I didn't know were there... I also noticed with shock that my hitcounter is registering over 15,000! So thank you again, everyone... and I am sorry to have disappointed.

As for what the heck happened, I guess death has made it a habit to pay a visit around the same time every year. My grandfather passed away, almost exactly 2 years to the day my grandmother died. Although it is not very buddhistic, I like to think that he went to join her. Maybe they have 7 more lifetimes in samsara together...

Seeya had a very peaceful death. He was healthy until about July, walking about, going to work (at 88!) and had eyesight better than mine. Then he got a really bad chest infection that just wouldn't go away. Slowly he grew more feeble, more breathless and more dependent. I loved looking after him, making his meals - blended, energy dense and various combinations so that he wouldn't get sick of the same thing. I loved keeping him company while he ate, while he listened to the sermons on the radio etc. I'm so glad I was able to help out my mother with his medicines etc. and with treatment decisions, to get a nurse to look after him, to nebulize him etc. I think the last couple of days, he had better care than he would have had in an ICU - 2 doctors and a nurse, nubulizers, IV medicine, oxygen all at hand if needed. That day, he had his breakfast and lunch and was listening to pirith and waiting for his tea... he nodded off against my mother's shoulder, and moments later, she noticed that he was not breathing.

He had a good life... 55 years marriage to my lovely grandmother, 4 successful children and a number of loving grandkids. He was principal of a leading educational institute and fondly remembered by his students - many who are well respected academics, professionals and businessmen. They dedicate books they have authored to him, remember him when accepting prestiges awards and recently felicitated him at the institute. Seeya held truth and justice of foremost importance - and that's a lesson he imparted to his children, grandchildren and students, that the easy way isn't always the right one. He valued education, glorying in gold medals, academic distinctions etc. of his loved ones. But his emphasis was more on right thoughts speech and actions. He used to recite this little poem to us when we were at our most impressionable:

Guard your lips from evil slips,
Five things note with care.
To whom you speak, of whom you speak,
When, why and where.

I miss him deeply. I am sad, but not distraught - I can only look back at the times I spent with him and know that there are no regrets. I am luckier than many... I got to spend over a quarter of a century with both my grandparents. I hope I live up to his standards and expectations, and I cannot wish him a better passing - alert and rational, free of pain, in the company of his loved ones and while listening to pirith. May he attain the supreme bliss of Nibbana.


On a different note, my silence has also been due to the dramatic political scenario in the country. While quite interested in what is happening, and terribly opinionated, I did not want to turn this blog into a political forum. In fact, given the atmosphere online, I'm fairly sure that even a statement like my mum went and bought a banana plant for 150 rupees but it died a week later would have been interpreted by some as supportive of one candidate, or flippantly dismissive of another. I had fun reading election related posts on kottu/achcharu and went bright and early to vote. I confess that one preferential vote was for the guy contesting under the kangaroo, simply because the symbol was so priceless. Darling kept muttering darkly that people like me should have limited franchise... huh!


And finally, I was a bit in the dumps because I am becoming a monument of sorts. I am now firmly on the other side of the fence (biological and otherwise) and (sigh...) it's going to be downhill all the way from here.

For those of you who have no clue what the heck I am talking about, today is my birthday, I wanna be wished! :)

Signing off - vintage Angel


Darling said...

Happy birthday babe!

Yours is a vintage I truly enjoy! ;-)

PseudoRandom said...

My deepest sympathies. I lost my grandfather just over two years ago, and I know what it's like...except I'm over here and he was in SL...let's just say that listening to the pansakule on skype left a lot to be desired.

On a happier note, Happy Birthday! Hope you have a wonderful day :-)

T said...

Happy birthday Angel! I've missed your posts and I hope you plan on blogging regularly soon :)

My deepest sympathies for your loss. I hope those who leave us know how truly we miss them.

Also, pfft. I've seen you and you don't look a day over 25, true story.

Anonymous said...

Glad you are back !!!!

The voice of sanity on Kottu. She who tries real hard to walk the middle ground :)

You are so lucky to have had that kind of time with your grandfather.

Have a great birthday.
Things get better for women with age. We become more assertive, know our minds better and learn how to have a smashing good time.

Best wishes for a great year.

Il mondo di una povera pazza said...

Many Happy Returns Dr, Angel

Dili/දිලින said...

You'll always have those wonderful memories of Seeya :) It's a wonderful thing to have had a great connection with your grandparents.

Have a happy happy happy birthday Angel. Missed you around here :)

Chavie said...

My Deepest sympathies for your loss Angel. But you are truly lucky to not have any regrets about your relationship with him. May he attain Nibbana.

And Many Happy Returns of (yester)day! :D Hope you had an awesome one... And what Anon said, I think that women become better with age too! ;) hehe

Hope to see you blog regularly. Missed your posts very much! :D

sue said...

My deepest sympathies. You seem to have had a wonderful Seeya and I am glad it was such a peaceful death.

Happy B'day ancient being, hope you have a great year ahead!

BTW so glad you are back.

~ lo$t $oul ~ said...


Hope you have a gr8 one Angel(Vintage)

Dee said...

vintage is the new IN! :) HAppy birthday angie have a good one :D

Serendib_Isle said...

Oh Angel, deepest sympathies. I wish I would be that lucky to be surrounded by the ones who care in the final moments of my life. Seriously.

Happy birthday Angel *big hug*

Hey, how dare you say that you are on the other side, just look at how well your seeya lived. So, I’m sure the best is yet to come. ;)


welcome back! We missed you.

Lady divine said...

With you many happy returns of the day!!!!:)

Hugs and kisses

Lady divine said...

With you many happy returns of the day!!!!:)

Hugs and kisses

WorldofPeace said...

Happy Birthday!

pissu perera said...

happy birthday, welcome back! missed your posts for a while.

sorry to hear about your grand dad. i don't know if there's ever a bright side to these things, but it sounds like he had a super life.

Jack Point said...

Hey Angel a belated Happy Birthday.

Your grandfather seems to have lived a full life and he died peacefully, what more could anyone want?

The Puppeteer said...

I terribly sorry to hear about your grandfather. Please accept my deepest sympathies. I don't really know what it must feel like 'cause my grandparents passed away before I was old enough to understand what was happening. But I can imagine to some degree... having read your post.

Also, wish you a happy birthday. Though you can't be on the other side of the fence unless you're 50, which I highly doubt you are =)

santhoshi said...

Belated birthday wishes angel!

Scrumps said...

So I'm a lil' late but better that than never! Happy Birthday Doc!

And my condolences. hugs

Angel said...

Thanks so much everyone... you guys are so sweet!

Darling : mawah!

PR : thanks. My sympathies about the skype experience... that must have been hard...

T : thank you, love, I needed that ego-boost! :)

Annon : thanks so much for the sympathies, and the wishes... I think I will print out the last sentence and frame it.

Il Mondo : thanks!

Dili : I know... the memories are something I will treasure... and plan to put down somewhere that his great grandchildren (still pending) can read.

Chavie : thank you for your kind thoughts. Hugs!

Sue : aww... you so sweet...

Lo$t : Yay for the wishes! I love it when people are good and emphatic about things!

Dee : Thanks!

Serendib : I know... I can't ask for anything more myself. I hope for the best too... thanks!

LD : Hugs and kisses sweetie...

Worlfopeace : thanks

JP : I know... a full life is the best we can wish for, yeah?

Meg : like I said... I am really lucky to have had them for so long... and they were such a big influence on me... and lol, not 50 yet... but counting!

Santhoshi : thanks!

Scrumpy : Thanks luv, hugs back!

N said...

Sorry to hear about your grandad, but like so many have said above, it seemed like he had a great life! Happy belated birthday:) And 30 is the :)

Knatolee said...

So sorry to hear you lost your dear grandfather. He sounded like a wonderful man, and I'm glad he had a good, long life, but you must miss him so.

And a rather belated happy birthday! If it makes you feel better, I'm on a downhill slide to 50 now. :)

Cadence said...

Happy B'day Doc! Hope it was a good one :)

And my deepest sympathies about your grandfather, I'm sure he was a wonderful man. Moreover I'm sure he was proud of you and who you were and have become.


Angel said...

N : yes, I'm sure 30 is the new 25.... not! :)

Knatolee : he was really wonderful, and I am lucky in so many ways. I suggest we get skateboards and go down the hill together! :)

Cadence : Thanks... for both thoughts...

gutterflower said...

I know this is terribly late, but I've been catching up on your posts only just now. I'm so sorry for your loss and I hope you're doing good.