Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Yearnings

Le sigh...

So after the big "Three Oh" comes the big "Three One", not with a bang, but a fizzling realisation that the wonder years are really over. And I've got this awful bottomless-bottomful feeling at the pit of my stomach... where do I go from here? What next? Is this it?

My birthdays have almost always been low key... a few friends over for lunch, cake and tea... later on dinner out with friends. My family is so big that their numbers tend to dwarf any invited friends... and the whole thing resembles every other family gathering. I haven't invited relatives over for my birthday for a few years now, but they still drop by for cake and cutlets my mum prepares, "just in case".

I had an absolutely wonderful wedding, but it wasn't a party as such... and while I was the centre of attention (along with Darling) (yay!) I didn't really get to talk to my friends much... once more my relatives dominated the scene. I couldn't even invite some of my friends, even though I wanted to very much.

I've always wanted a big birthday party... lots of friends and balloons and flowers, yummylicious chocolate cake, or a host of cupcakes with fancy sparkling candles to blow out . Wearing a pweety dress and sparkly earrings, and getting compliments, just because I was the birthday girl! Lots of dance music and flashing lights and dancing with Darling and my friends like there'd be no tomorrow.

There are so many people I want to invite... school friends, campus friends, work friends, Bloggers (of course!!) and Darling's mates. I gave into temptation and drafted an invite list... which somehow made my "wanting" a party that much stronger.

Not every day or every year, but just once.

Call it an item on my bucket list, if you like. It's right up there, in big capital letters along with "be a mom", "lose weight" and "stop being a doormat".

Darling, being the total sweetheart that he is, is all set to organise a (belated) birthday bash for me. Does wanting it make me unrealistic, juvenile and a total material girl? Is it mutton acting like lamb? Is it a delayed quaterlife crisis or an early midlife crisis? Would anyone even bother to come?

Sigh... I dunno...

14 comments:

Dee said...

aioo what is this?!?! of course we all want a bash!!! my 25th will be epic, EPIC i tell you!! ;) ;) enjoyyyy babes!

Serendib_Isle said...

Happy (belated) birthday Angel. I thought women feared the big four-oh; men usually fear the three-oh. At least I did, cos I had marriage on the cards in my third decade.

I’d say carpe diem - and go PARTEYYYYY!!!

PseudoRandom said...

I say make full use of the fact that Darling wants to organise a party for you...apparently every girl deserves to be treated like a princess; why should you be any different? :-)

hijinx said...

I second dee... There's no way you're selfish for wanting to celebrate your way, n u'v waitd long enuf. Do it naow, I say! :D

Chavie said...

Happy Belated Birthday, Angel! And I hope you have a great party! :D

Jack Point said...

I'm sure Darling will do you proud:)

Cadence said...

Go for it! My 25th was superb! One of the best and again my fiance was behind it :)

btw read the wedding post and belated congrats!!!! :) I'm completely looking fwd to mine :)

Gutterflower said...

Psssh. Of course wanting a party doesn't make you materialistic, unrealistic, juvenile etc. I know what you mean about relatives overshadowing any occasion and what with work and all, I think you definitely deserve it!

Go for it, I say. :)

~ lo$t $oul ~ said...

HAPPPY (belated) BIRTHDAY!!!!

and we need a party :P

devilinlaw said...

I think that you need to party girl and do it in style.....Just because you wanted a party that does not mean that you are materialistic.. and don't bother what the world says.. just be your self and do what your inner voice says....

Book Baker said...

Hey you!!! A very happy belated birthday!! :D You SHOULD have a bash.. I don't see why not.. :) Here's to (cheers!) you on your birthday!! (clink.)

The Puppeteer said...

Happy belated birthday! And I'm surprised you're still deliberating over having a party... It's doesn't matter if you're off my days or weeks, have a party!

Knatolee said...

Birthday bashes are very, very good.

I found turning 40 worse than turning 30, and now 50 is rearing its ugly head. Those birthdays that start a new decade are always... interesting. A nice party helps! :)

Anonymous said...

I point out the 5th paragraph below, its interesting considering the array of societal classes we find in Sri Lanka. Happy belated birthday, and good luck! :)

---
Midlife crisis is a term coined in 1965 by Elliott Jaques and used in Western societies to describe a period of dramatic self-doubt that is felt by some individuals in the "middle years" or middle age of life, as a result of sensing the passing of their own youth and the imminence of their old age.

Sometimes, a crisis can be triggered by transitions experienced in these years, such as extramarital affairs, andropause or menopause, the death of parents or other causes of grief, unemployment or underemployment, realizing that a job or career is hated but not knowing how else to earn an equivalent living, or children leaving home. The result may be a desire to make significant changes in core aspects of day-to-day life or situation, such as in career, work-life balance, marriage, romantic relationships, big-ticket expenditures, or physical appearance.

Academic research since the 1980s rejects the notion of midlife crisis as a phase that most adults go through. In one study, fewer than 10% of people in the United States had psychological crises due to their age or aging.[1] Personality type and a history of psychological crisis are believed to predispose some people to this "traditional" midlife crisis.[2] People going through this suffer a variety of symptoms and exhibit a disparate range of behaviors.

Many middle aged adults experience major life events that can cause a period of psychological stress or depression, such as the death of a loved one, or a career setback. However, those events could have happened earlier or later in life, making them a "crisis," but not necessarily a midlife one. In the same study, 15% of middle-aged adults experienced this type of midlife turmoil.

Some studies indicate that some cultures may be more sensitive to this phenomenon than others, one study found that there is little evidence that people undergo midlife crises in Japanese and Indian cultures, raising the question of whether a midlife crises is mainly a cultural construct. The authors hypothesized that the "culture of youth" in Western societies accounts for the popularity of the midlife crisis concept there.[3]

Researchers have found that midlife is often a time for reflection and reassessment, but this is not always accompanied by the psychological upheaval popularly associated with "midlife crisis."[4]