Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Sad

I met up with a friend today... a very old and dear friend whom I got to know on the first day at Uni. I was meeting him after more than a year, and it felt great to sit and talk... I hadn't realised how much I had missed his wry jokes and brutal sense of humour! So we tore apart the old scandals, talked gossipily about new ones and who was dating/married /divorced/cheating with who.

And then I asked an unnecessary question.

I asked if there were any guys in my batch who were "interested in me". And he said no.

I can't describe how hard that was on my self esteem... I know it is silly... and that I was well liked and popular with my batchmates, that I had fun during my almost-6-years there and that I have loads of great memories...

BUT

Seriously?? Not one single guy had so much as a smidgen of a crush on me? What is wrong with me? Am I not pretty enough or sexy enough or lustworthy enough? Do I lack an innate "hotness factor"? Was it the way I dressed? Was it my hair? Maybe I should have worn my contact lenses everyday instead of wearing glasses because they were comfier. Maybe I should have spent more on clothes from Mondi and suchlike instead of the sensible stuff I wore. Maybe I should have used fair and lovely.

Gah!

Not ONE lousy guy.

My ego is really bruised at the moment.

:(

23 comments:

T said...

aww c'mon angel. that kinda thinking isn't even worthy of you.

PseudoRandom said...

Ah! Someone who knows how I feel! *hug* Sorry I'm being selfish I know, but I guess when you go through life watching guys tripping over themselves to say hi to all your friends while you just stand there like a scarecrow, it's comforting to know that someone out there knows how you feel.

I'm afraid I can't impart any of my infinite wisdom in this case. I've learnt to accept all that you have questioned in your post, and I just treat it as a fact of life that I'm gonna grow old alone. Oh well.

One thing though...be proud that you didn't try to dress like a person that wasn't you. Remember when Anjali tried to dress like Tina just so she could impress Rahul? Epic fail.

P.S.- If you recognise the characters, I hope the reference makes you smile :-) And if you don't, please forgive me :P

Hoot-a-Toot said...

:) I still haven't gotten over the fact that not a single guy asked me out while I was schooling. Seriously! :P Their loss Angel girl, their loss!

Book Baker said...

aww sweetie come on. :) So you're not stereotype. That I think is a great sign. And YAY! for glasses! I so don't like my contacts either. :D And, I think we, the geeky looking ones in comfy clothes & glasses end up happier in the end anyway. Trust me on this one. Cheer up now. From what I've heard, guys love a lady doctor in glasses. :D

Dee said...

aio come onnn. you know guys...some probably did like you but never said anything? And what if they knew you were not available (when did you meet D anyway? :S), then they definitely would have stayed away :)

~ lo$t $oul ~ said...

*almost falling off the chair...* u know the rest..

Awwww Angel.. *hug hug*..

Want some ice cream?

Jack Point said...

Well you certainly have enough followers on your blog and I seem to recall that you got a lot of propositions the last time you were thinking of an affair....;>


More seriously, your friend should have said that there was none that he knew of, but not everyone would discuss their secret crushes with everyone else would they? Nor would he want to reveal to you if he had a crush on you would he?

nooneknows said...

LOL... that is from kuch kuch hota hai.....hindi movie..

santhoshi said...

angel : Hugs.. Cheer up only thing i can say is those guys dont know what they missed :)

pseudorandom: its a tv serial!!!! it made me smile

Scrumps said...

I am the last person to be offering any kind of advice based on my last post but you are beautiful to so many who have no idea who you are let alone have seen you. That counts for so much more than what a few young immature students ever thought!

It's always going to hurt hearing things like that - but you are beautiful. :)

cj said...

Awwwwww don't feel sad I am sure your friend harbored a crush on you and thats why he did not want to tell :)

Delilah said...

Angel, i can see why you would say it bruised the ego but really it shouldnt. guys in your batch/ uni not having a thing for you is no indication of your level of attractiveness. maybe you were taken or they may have been intimidated by you. OR maybe your buddy didnt know. either which way you should not doubt the strength of your personality or dress sense based on a bunch of guys.
in fact, just the other day i was telling another blogger friend about how pretty you are and what a gorgeous smile you have. (yes i've seen you - i think)

PR, i recognize the references :) also, every blogger who i've heard speaking of you has mentioned how cute you are!

Darling said...

eh.... given how often I used to visit, I'm sure most of your batchmates would've known that you were taken...

Then again, given how few of the guys get along with your pal, I can't imagine any of them confiding in him like "Hey [so and so] I really don't like you at all, but I've totally got to get it off my chest that I'm sooo totalleh crushing on that Angel..."

** HUGZ **

Jack Point said...

Hey BB who said people don't like girls with glasses, nice glasses can be really hot.

The Puppeteer said...

What's important is to be yourself. You wouldn't want people liking for someone you aren't, would you? That would probably make you feel worse...

So dress the way you like and just be yourself.

And I agree with JackPoint, your friend couldn't possibly be in the know of who's crushing on whom.

Me-shak said...

Pseudo has said everything thats ought to be said. Don't have any regrets.

Cheers!

Angel said...

Awwww.... love you guys so much!

T : thanks you....

PR : i know exactly what you mean about guys and hot friends :S Lol at the KKHH reference!

Su : sigh... I feel you baby!

Book baker : I'm wearing my glasses, staring at the mirror, waiting for my hapy ending...

Dee : we started dating in my 3rd or 4th year... oh wishful thinking...

Lo$t : *hugs you back, hard* I would love some ice-cream

JP : hmmm.... I feel so much better now :S

noone : I know!

Santhoshi : aww thanks...

Scrumps : you are so sweet... thank you! (hugs you tight)

cj : lol know, that I am sure of!

Delilah : really? We've seen each other? wow... (facepalms) thanks so much! (smiles wide at you)

Darling : I wauv you!

Puppeteer : you guys are right... *firmly makes up mind not to let it bother her*

Me-shak : if only......

Gypsy said...

It's funny how our teenage insecurities never leave us, isn't it? That would bruise my ego too, even now, after so long. But don't worry - school days were when we were the gawkiest and the silliest. Now you've blossomed into a wonderful witty delightful woman (I don't know you but from your writing I can tell you are) and there must be hundreds crushing on you now! So tell that boy with his bad tact that he can SUCK it.

gutterflower said...

Angel, like everyone else has said, he couldn't possibly know who each and every guy was crushing on.

You're amazing and we'll gladly take it upon ourselves to remind you every time you forget :)

Sach said...

Maybe he lied to you and now is laughing his ass off somewhere reading this?
Cheer up!

PP said...

dont have anything to say that the other haven't already except to say don't go there. that's a slippery slope. look around you and see what you have now =)

wow, that can be right out of an corny inspirational website. hope you're feeling better now.

Kulendra said...

Does your hubby still read this blog?

Angel said...

Kulendra.. yeah he does.. why ? :)