Just the 2 of us
I don't want my pregnancy to end! In spite of all the worry and the complications and the fear and uncertainty... I swear, this has been the best experience of my life.
Baby has truly been the sweetest and most considerate foetus anyone could wish for. When I first figured out I was pregnant (and this was a good 2 weeks before I missed my period), I just hugged the secret to myself. Just me and Baby - the two of us in our own private universe. Darling was let in on the secret... and then there were three.
I hardly had any morning sickness... I may have thrown up a grand total of 4 times during the past 9 months, and on 2 of those occasions it was food poisoning rather than the preggy hormones. Sure, I felt queasy sometimes, stopped being able to taste certain flavours, and was completely put off by others... but on the whole, Baby and I managed to eat healthily and heartily.
Things are a little different now... I get excruciating cramps in my legs at night, that make me wake up literally screaming in pain. Getting off bed involves complicated wriggly movements and a lot of effort. Whenever I walk more than a few steps or climb stairs I feel absurdly breathless. And I need to pee... all. the. time. This is complicated by the fact that I keep dreaming that something terrible has happened. I've always had vivid dreams, in full colour, and with smells, sounds, the works. I've woken up distraught more times than I can count, sobbing because Baby had "disappeared" or "never existed" or had been "taken".
Specially after the most recent scare, I've started to welcome the symptoms... even the cramps. It's "proof" that I'm still pregnant and Baby is still there with us. I think they're not even bitter-sweet anymore. Just pure sweetness.
These, I think are the sweetest of all. The textbooks call it "quickening", the sensation of feeling the baby move. At first, I wasn't even sure if that was what I felt... it was so small and so gentle... as if a flower petal had bumped against my belly. And then a few days later, it was as if someone was blowing bubbles inside me, that gently floated around, bumped against the walls of my womb and then went "bop".
That's what Darling and I call it... bopping. I tell Darling that I pity him, because he will never know how wonderful it feels to have this wonderful, living bundle of joy wriggling inside. And day by day Baby keeps bopping more and more, making my tummy bounce and wobble... and it's so difficult to suppress a delighted smile or laugh when that happens.
Baby somehow seems most responsive to Darling. Baby is Daddy's little love bug... and the bops are the strongest when D reads aloud to both of us, or spends time talking to Baby about his day at work and what not. Baby also bops in time to pirith and classical music. Excuse a mother's natural pride when I say that Baby has impeccable taste.
So here I am, counting my days and enjoying every bump and wriggle inside me...
Part of me never wants to let go of this warm wonderful feeling...