Monday, August 29, 2011

Our little survivor

Thanks so much everyone for all your good wishes and for sharing our joy at the impending arrival of a wee bundle of joy. I owe everyone a bit of an explanation as to why the announcement was kept so late. Trust me, you weren't the only ones, some of our close relatives didn't find out till almost six months into the pregnancy...

Let me digress a minute on our traditions associated with pregnancy... among them eating jackfruit and brinjals (to ensure abundant milk), not completing the baby clothes before the delivery, not bringing the cot home before the baby, and reciting religious chants (Angulimala piritha) to ensure smooth delivery. In other words, there is no assumption that the birth is a certainty and that all will go well. Life is uncertain... and obviously, someone from my field will have abundant evidence of this uncertainty.

I knew I was pregnant a good couple of weeks before I missed my period. Maybe because I was more aware of the changes in my body... maybe because I just had a sense of not being "alone". So Darling and I waited, all starry eyed until it was time to do the blood test. I can't find the words to explain how I felt when I looked at my HCG report... nothing I have ever done before or since was comparable to this big jolt of joy that ran through my body. Some of you may remember that in the past, my views about kids have changed from ambivalent to negative to "whatevah" to expectant... mostly because (career woman that I am) I had little faith in my parenting skills. Over the last eight months, not a smidgen of a doubt has crossed my mind... even when I tested myself by deliberately thinking "will I be a good mum?" my gut reaction would always be "Good mum? Of course I'm going to be a good mum... I'm going to be the best mum ever, because no one can love my little Bubee more than I do".

One of the first pics... Baby lies between the green and yellow crosses

That said, the last 8 months have not been a bed of roses. Soon after the first scan, a contaminated sandwich gave me Shigella food poisoning. The fever, vomiting and diarrhoea nearly caused a miscarriage... Baby was 1.29cm long... and 1cm of the sac had separated from the protective walls of my womb! I was terrified... but our little survivor kept hanging in there.

After about 3 months, I kept feeling lousy, got odd fevers, swollen lymph nodes and developed a leaky valve in my heart. My blood work was crazy... and I had three consultants (still do actually) scratching their heads and wondering what was wrong. During the next 2 months I was tested for every nasty and obscure disease under the sun, from TB and HIV to toxaplasma and Epstein Barr virus. And throughout it all, Baby continued to thrive and grow in leaps and bounds.


Baby @ 13 weeks


Somehow, I got the ok to travel abroad, and honestly, those 3 weeks in Malaysia were a godsend. Of course the training was hectic... but I had no other responsibilities... I did minimum shopping and spent most evenings and weekends in my room with my feet up, reading Terry Pratchet. Once I got back, my Mum needed cataract surgery and Darling was hospitalised, (food poisoning again - honestly, we seem to attract the worst bugs).

And Baby continued to grow and develop. I felt the very first kicks exactly when I was supposed to... and the growth scans were right there in the midline. The "anormaly scan" is usually done at about 20 weeks and the doctor looks at everything visible... the brain, spine, heart, face, palate and nose, the stomach the kidneys and the bladder. Baby got gold stars in all of them... somehow managing to overcome the limitations of an illness prone mother.

I wish I could be in better health, for Baby's sake, but even as I type this, I am on medical leave, lying on my left side to maximise the blood flow to the placenta. Somehow, during the last few weeks, Baby hasn't grown as expected. I'm just 32 weeks pregnant and hoping against hope that we will not need to go for a pre-mature delivery. The worst thing about being a doctor is knowing full well of all the nasty things that can go wrong and having a dozen worst case scenarios playing through your mind.

Hang in there my little Angel, my Sweetie, my Cutie! You're a fighter and a survivor... You're the best thing that has ever happened to your Mum and Dad... we love you so very much and are rooting for you all the way...


Stay with us...




27 comments:

aufidius said...

Just saw this, congratulations! Hope everything goes very well!

Delilah said...

sending you and the little miracle a truckload of love and prayers.
hug.

Lady divine said...

wow... you've gone through quite a lot there...

I'm sure everything will be fine. Do take care of yourself..

Good luck and my prayers are with you and little cutie..:)

Hugs!

PP said...

congrats and good luck to all of you :)

cj said...

Wooow what wonderful news please accept my sincere congratulations!

Guiding Spirit said...

Dear baby,
You have loads of (very nice) aunties who can't wait to see you !! (and spoil you ..)
You are lucky to have such a wonderful mom :)

Hugs and kisses ..

Scrumps said...

Angel - I'm sure your baby is just a much a fighter as you are if not more.

You've been through some very rough times but you're in my thoughts.

BUT - everytime I read a post of yours I'm like "WTF?!". Seriously - stop dropping bombshells on us! ;)

*hugs* my lovely!

Muffet said...

Aww.. Congratulations!

I'm sure everything will be A-ok! Good luck and will say a special prayer for you and the little cutie pie!

Stay safe!:)

Welcome to Boredom said...

Congratz Angel.
May the triple gem bless you and your beautiful baby :)

Dee said...

:') Be well and happy Ange!

GG said...

Congratulations again! and wish you all the best!
I wonder if the little angel will come out with a miniature pitchfork?

Azrael said...

Congratulation and all the very best!

AnithKona said...

dear akka,congrats ! baby will be fine. I will pray at ruwanmali seya... u hv been a good friend and a great support for me during my study years. I really hope for the best for u and ur little one. tc...

Gutterflower said...

OMG. I only just saw this.

Firstly, congraaaaats!

Second, please please take care of yourself (not that I need to tell you this) Much love headed your way to you and the little one. We're all rooting for both of you. Stay safe.

Ps: Can we get to name him/her? :D

~ lo$t $oul ~ said...

Wow your baby is quite the strong fighter ah! Keep him safe and you too take very good of yourself :)

Anything I can get you? More sweets?

Angel said...

Auf :Thanks so much!

Delilah : Thanks so much for the love... we appreciate every bit of positive energy!

LD : I know... it's like it has been a roller coaster! Thanks for the wishes and prayers!

PP : thanks and I need it! :)

CJ : thanks! :)

GS : Thanks so much for the vote of confidence and for being there for us...

Scrumpy : I just can't seem to help it...! Thanks!

Ms. M : Thanks so much... ! I will!

WtB : I truly truly appreciate the blessings... thanks!

Dee : Thank you! *hugs*

GG : Well... going by the personality in my tummy, baby seems to be a very serene character!

Azreal : thank you!

AnithKona : nangi, thank you so much for your comment... I am touched that you remember any small help I was able to give. Thank you also for remembering me at the Ruwanveli Seya, I wanted so much to go, but was unable to... godak pin...

Angel said...

Gutter flower : Thanks... for all the love! And yes, name suggestions will be welcome!

Lo$t : Awww thank you! The only sweet thing I really love is Cadbury's dairy milk, that is "made in UK" (other stuff gives me heartburn and nausea). Happily, the Brother in Law just got back to SL, so have the fridge stocked with a few slabs... :D

Dili said...

I'm sure everything will be fine. Who better to be Baby's mom and take care of Baby than you. :) Love, blessings, prayers and good karma being sent your way. take care now.

santhoshi said...

Good Luck Angel! I am still in shock from reading this.

You will make a great mum (of course, goes without saying! )
I can relate to what you are going through, was in a similar situation with the second one.

Il mondo di una povera pazza said...

Congratz Angel.
everything will be ok with you angel.

Huggggssss

Nee said...

Congrats and Good luck

Chavie said...

All the best Angel. Hang in there! :)

Knatolee said...

Shigella, UGH!!!! But baby is a tough little fighter! Rest, relax and take care of yourself and your little bundle. :) ANd fingers crossed that you can go to term. No premature delivery!

Wish I could bring you some Cadbury's. ENglish chocolate is the best!

Angel said...

Dili : Thank you so much for all the good thoughts and blessings! We really appreciate it!

Santhoshi : sorry for shocking you! Thanks for the vote of confidence!

Povera Pazza : Thank you... really appreciate the hugs!

Neelaka : Thank you and thanks for stopping by

Chavie : Thanks... we're both hanging on!

Knatolee : I totally agree.. I've been OD-ing on the dairy Milk! :D

The Puppeteer said...

1. Pfft! Of course you'll make an awesome mom. I can tell.

2. 8 months??? OMG! You're going to be a mom this month! Yay! :') I'm so happy for you!

3. Leaky valve? O_O Can that be corrected?

4. Yay! Another Pratchett fan :D

5. We're all rooting for 'little Angel'... Will pray that all goes well :)

Book Baker said...

Hey you.. I'm sure everything will go well.. The little angel hung on for this long nah! Definitely quite a fighter!! Everything will be alright! No premature delivery I'm sure.. Take care of yourself. huggssies.. xoxoxo

Angel said...

Megs : I know! I'm so scared and excited at the same time! Nope, my valve will hopefully correct itself after the delivery, but it will make things a little more complicated. Yes, all hail Pratchett, i would have lost my mind if not for the books... and think you so much for rooting for us!

BB : Thanks so much sweetie... hugs right back!